Am I the only writer around here who sits down, pulls up the most painful part of my psyche, engages whatever skills I have to shape my words, find the meaning in them, work hard to make sure that meaning is to some degree universally relevant, the writing is to some degree entertaining and uplifting -- and then won't try to get it out there for people to read?
I'm really asking you. I know not everybody finds writing to be like peeling off skin to bare the soul, making oneself vulnerable to anybody's reaction, whether thoughtful or not. But does anybody reading this relate to what I'm saying?
I've just spent years writing a novel, and my original intention was to garner some attention for it on the heels of my first novel, which was published in 2009. Instead, I crouch in the corner, cringe in the dark, find all kinds of ways to kill time rather than get the results of my hard work in front of people who might actually appreciate it.
Well, I know that my problem is just fear of rejection, and maybe some fear of acceptance too. I need to "man up" and go through the motions of writing query letters, submitting samples, and all the rest. I need to get over it, whatever it is. I'm proud of the work I've done; I know it's not right for just any publisher; I know, in fact, that it will be hard to find a publisher for work such as mine, but that there probably is one, somewhere, who will appreciate what I've done and know how and to whom to market it. But I also know that every rejection is like a bullet to my gut, and therefore I'm stalling.
Tell me you understand. Tell me you, too, have never found a way to ease the hurt from rejection and, more importantly, the insult of obtuse lack of comprehension. And that's on top of never being really sure in the first place that you've succeeded in writing anything that can be understood!
Are you out there? Or am I cringing here in my little corner of the universe all alone?