Back in the day, Pap and a friend walked to see 2 brothers,who were musicians-in the hopes of hearing some good pickin and grinnin. Soon after arriving, they started asking the brothers to play them a song-but the boys kept putting them off. Even the boys' Mother encouraged them to play a tune-all to no avail. Just as Pap and his friend were about to leave, one of the brothers said "Mommy blow the lamp out and we'll sing one." Seems the brothers were so backward they could only perform in the dark!
A man Pap used to work with, thought his wife was going to have a nervous breakdown because she was dipping to much snuff. One day the wife said to Pap "Tell him Jerry the snuff don't make me nervous. I can be waaay out there and take a little dip and it brings me right back."
Many years ago, one of Pap's friends went to Asheville to have his teeth pulled and be fitted with dentures. On his way home he had a flat tire. As he was bent over changing the tire someone came up behind him and pecked him on the shoulder. When he looked up a gentleman, asked if he knew how to get to the apple orchard. Having all your teeth pulled can cause quite a bit of bleeding-not wanting to spit blood by the man's feet, Pap's friend just shook his head no. The gentleman went back to his car and he got back to fixing the flat. A few minutes later the gentleman came back and pecked him on the shoulder again-wanting directions to a different location. Pap's friend couldn't hold it in any longer and the blood spilled down both sides of his mouth. The gentlemen started backpedaling and ran for his car. Later, Pap's friend told him "why he thought I was one of those vampeers." Pap's friend was a little upset over the incident, because he'd worn his only white shirt and kept it perfectly clean until that man came around asking questions.